Sunday, October 31, 2010

Are you master of your domain?

When i began to think about this topic only one trial came to mind the trial of Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Elaine Benes and Cozmo Kramer against the state of Massachusetts. It all began when NBC called Jerry Seinfeld and told him that they would like to re-up his pilot that George Costanza and him had proposed to the company some years earlier that was going to be aired until  Russell Dowripple, the head of the company went on hiatus after Elaine Benes wouldn't return his calls, and was just left sitting on the Shelf. NBC wanted to make up for leaving the pilot on the shelf for so long, so they told them that they could use a private jet to fly anywhere in the world to go on a vacation. So after much collaboration the gang decided to go to Paris for their vacation, and about halfway through their flight Cozmo Kramer began to jump wildly up and down and smacked his ear repeatedly trying to get water out of it and fell into the cockpit causing technical difficulty's and the plane began to go down but eventually regained control and had to land in  Latham, Massachusetts where the pilot of the plane told the gang it would be a while and to go get a "bite to eat" and so they went. When they were almost to the restaurant a man was mugged right across the street from them and they did nothing to help but after the man that was mugged alerted the authority's and told them that the gang didn't help they were apprehended by the police for breaking the good semaritain law and they were sent to jail. So the gang called their lawyer Jackie Chiles and they were set to go trial against the state of Massachusetts.
As the trial began the honorable judge Vandelay approached the bench and Jackie Chiles made his opening statement with his main argument that they were innocent bystanders and there is no such thing as a guilty bystander and that's what it means to be an American that you don't have to help anybody if you don't want to. So the prosecuter calls the man that was mugged to the stand one mister  Matt Vogel and he told them about the tape that Cozmo Kramer was taking of the crime and they showed it in the court, Which should have not been showed because they were never told that they had the tape it. So next the prosecution called Mabel Choate to the stand and this was also unfair in the court proceedings because she was not even present at the time of the event, but the prosecutions    argument was that they were trying to establish that this was not merely an isolated incident. It was part of a pattern of anti-social behavior that's been going on for years, So Judge Vandelay let it stand and Choate explaind how Mr. Seinfeld had stole her marble rye from schnitzers bakery some years earlier. Then the Prosecution called Marla Penny to the stand the person that the gang referred to as the "Virgin" and she explained how the gang had a contest some years earlier to see who could go longest without well you know. this was also very unfair because she was not present at the incident. Next they called Donald Sanger to the stand who was "The Bubble Boy" and he explained how George Costanza popped his bubble over a game of Trivial Pursuit and he almost died, but once again he was not there at the time of the incident. Then they called the lady that Mr. Kramer gave a defective wheel chair too (no name given) and she explained how Mr. Costanza parked in a handicap spot and and she ended up breaking her wheelchair and Mr. Kramer gave her a defective one that almost killed her. Then they called Dr. Wilcox the doctor on call the night of Susan Ross's, George Costanza's former fiancée , death and explained how Mr. Costanza's reaction was restrained jubilation and had no sorrow at all about his Fiancée dying. Then they called Sidra Holland, Jerry Seinfeld's former girlfriend, to the stand and she explained how Mr. Seinfeld sent Elaine Benes into the sauna to see if "they were real" which actually in fact he had not done. Then they called Bookman the library cop to the stand and he explained how Mr.Seinfeld had a book delinquency for over 25 years. Then they called one of Mr. Costanza's former girlfriends to the stand and she explained how he had pushed over women and children to get out of the way of a fire. Then they called a security guard of the Grand Valley Shopping Mall and he explained how he caught Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza Urinating in the parking garage each about 30 mins apart and how Mr. Seinfeld lied about having Uromycitisis and if he held it in he would die. Then their final Character Witness was Yev Kassem who was referred to as "The Soup Nazi" and he explained how Ms. Benes had stolen all of his recepies and had them published ruining his business and he had to move to Argentina and live in seclusion. So the jury went out and it didn't take long to prove them guilty giving them a year in prison. This trial was completely unfair because everyone of the prosecutions witnesses but one was not even there at the time of the crime so their testimony's were  irrelevant, irrational, and inconsequential but ultimately led to their convictions. This is like The Crucible because even though some of the girls were not allegedly affected but the spirits of the witches in Salem what they did in court still held huge in court toward the convictions of the alleged witch's. 





2 comments:

  1. That episode was awesome and I don't see how that was not unjust.

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  2. I had gone up to Westchester. I go there every Tuesday. I do charity for the blind in my spare time for the Lighthouse. I was in the middle of a game of Parcheesi with an old blind man and I excused myself to call my friend as he was very depressed lately because he never became a banker.You see, it’d been his lifelong dream to be a banker and he uh, just the day before he was turned down by another bank. I believe it was the Manufacturer’s Hanover on Lexington and 40th Street. That was the third bank to turn him down so I was-I was a little concerned. I wanted to see how he was doing. Well, Your Honor, he was barely audible. But I distinctly recall him say…So I sped home to save my friend’s life and I was stopped for speeding. Yes, I admit I was speeding but it was to save a man’s life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved and to be a banker.

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be brutal